My birthday last year ...

I could hardly recalled most of things which has happened last year. This was because last year was rather a turbulent year for me. I joined a department which expecting a lot of things from me. On top of that, I did not agree with how the management dictating us and in the end, I ended up with a lot of self conflicts. This in turn me into being very negative. I tried to convince myself I am right and trying to explain why the person I dealt with behaves unreasonably.

Anyway, what I can recall very well was my birthday. I was as usual wasn't in a good mood, I was indeed very sad I ended up with a situation I didn't feel motivated at all to work. However, my sister and my mom rang me up out of the blue. They told me they would take me out for a birthday dinner. My sister's bf will buy us a dinner. Somehow I wasn't moved that day, I just agreed to turn up. We dine but I kept very quiet, I think they may think I wasn't happy with the dinner. I did not tell them I was actually very disturbed that day, after getting a lot of screaming.

I tried very hard to smile and appreciate the food I had, but I just remembered I didn't enjoy it. That was my birthday last year. However, today when I looked back, my job will not change, it will still continue to be toxic. But I learned that, the negativity prevent me from appreciating what my family has done for me. I feel sorry for my own action. They made an effort to celebrate, but I made an effort to remain negative.

Anyway, from now on, it's a lesson learned. There will be continuously toxic bosses and toxic jobs out there, however, I must learn to detach my emotions from the job especially when the situation is toxic. I will not let the job ruined me and the people around me. I just need to deal with it. There is nothing more important than the people which surrounding us. The job is important when you are useful to them, but to your family, you are important to them in our lifetime.