This 2nd term, I was doing Conflict Management course. In the course, we were told to you use 'I' statements which will make your sentences sounds more assertive. A lot of people tends to use 'YOU' which usually sounds more like an accusation, hence trigger more confrontations.
Today, while ordering my meal and my coffee, I told the waitress to bring my coffee first. After couple of minutes, I still didn't get it. So I waved to the waitress and told her 'I want my coffee to be served first'! I was very conscious with the choice of my sentence. After 10 minutes, my meal came but no coffee yet. I stressed again, 'May I have my coffee?', the waitress walked away hurriedly.
After my meal was over, no coffee!! I began to feel very pissed. In my mind, I kept telling me I must construct my word correctly. I must say 'I feel frustrated, my coffee has not being served yet. I am very annoyed'! Expressing my thoughts and telling the other about my demand and feeling.
When I walked over to the cashier, the waitress charged me the rice and the coffee!!! Immediately I was more pissed. I told her, 'Please remove the coffee. I told you many times about the coffee, but it wasn't served'!!! Then the waitress said 'Sorry sorry'!! At the slip of my tongue, I said 'I don't think YOU want to make that coffee!!!!.. Opps, I did it!
Anyway, the story I brought up here was because, it was so hard to control what we used to say, even I make an effort to try! The waitress simply didn't look at the customer when we speak to her, and neither she's focusing. One hand on the paper, but the face is facing other tables! I wonder how will they do their job?? Anyhow, I need to remove all the 'YOU' in the future!
1 comment:
today I learned about Roger's therapy....the way to rephrase the statements from the client is 'I sense that','I am glad that' , 'I see that' bla bla bla .....hmm, may be ini dua ada relationship eh.... susah la, I am so lost in the class :(
Post a Comment