Moral development for Adolescence

I am dedicating this page to a colleague who asked me for tips! However, I summarized from a book I read ..so it's really not my ideas :P

How to optimize moral development ?

1. require children to provide reasons of their wants;
2. instill play developmentally appropriate games with them;
3. praise them for for observing social conventions such as saying 'please' or 'thank you';
4. if punishment is necessary, use explanation, advice on how to avoid punishment in future, and a way of repairing any damage their misbehavior has caused;
5. teach them reciprocity; 'we do nice things for you so you should be willing to help us';
6, give them meaningful chores so they will think of themselves as important family and community members;
7. help and encourage them to base obedience on love and respect rather than fear;
8. teach them religious and philosophical values, including the idea that some actions are right and others are wrong, regardless of circumstances;
9. challenge their ego-centrism (self-centered)by asking questions such as, 'How would you feel if someone did that to you?' when they violate others' rights; and
10. include them in charitable events, like orphanage home, old folks home, church activities.

Why why why! Why so many why?!!

I was sitting in the office at one of the mobile desk. The desks are located next to a department where it has been partitioned. After sitting less than 10 minutes, I heard a guy in a very thick accent said 'Why is this done this way? Why do you choose this? Why didn't you do that? Why this why that? Why Why Why? Initially I thought I would mind my own business, but the voice is really loud and more than audible. To me it's more of anger.

Another 20 minutes later, he called up a name, Christine come over here! See this, why is this done this way? Who came up with this idea. Christine replied nicely, 'Oh I spoken to these people and we agreed to go with this'. The man then said, 'This is a decision made only by idiots'! Why this why that? Christine replied solemnly, 'Oh I am sorry, I was part of the decision, so I supposed I am the idiot too'. The guy just went on pouring his Why!!

The 'why' thing went on till lunch. I became so curious and wonder who is this man sitting the other side of the partition. I realized, the man is a elderly local guy, who doesn't look very happy, while Christine is an Asian gal speaking with an accent. However, I couldn't stop but thinking to myself, Christine got bullied. Big time. If this guy is her manager or team leader, this sort of things should be done closed door. If it's something Christine can learn, then this old man should speak in a nicer tone and teach her the right way. Whatever it is, the whole place was so negative. I felt this old man wanted people to know he has the power, he's on top but to me, he's so insecure! Right after lunch, I moved away, because I do not want to know WHY!

Need advise whom not to marry?

Lately I saw 2 interviews on TV which I find rather interesting. A priest in US name Father Pat Connor wrote a book titled 'Whom Not To Marry'!! How would an unmarried man able to give such advises? It really surprise me. The father wrote this book based on his counseling experiences with trouble couples over 40 years. Yes, what can go wrong after 40 years? :P

However, I went to the bookstore and flip through the book. I find some of the things mentioned was really true :)) One of the thing he said like find a husband who does not look for a mother in YOU! Meaning, this man was so used to be pampered and taken care off, when he looks for a wife, he wants a mother in his wife :)

Anyway, not sure if this book is sold in Malaysia, but do take a peep and you may learn a thing or 2 :))

Books in OZ

I found books in Australia is very expensive especially the academic ones. On top of that I am looking for some travel books for Hanoi, but the price of the book here stop my from buying.

However, recently I found from a friend there is a website I can order for books and delivery is absolutely free..yes dear kiasus! F-R-E-E. Not only that many of the titles there are so much cheaper than Australia.

Well what site is that? If you do not know by now .. visit http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/

For example, a Phaidon Walpaper book on Hanoi, cost AUD 14.95 here, while in Book Depository it cost AUD7.45. Well I know where to buy my books now :)

My first assignment results!

As you may already know, I am taking up Graduate Diploma of Counseling. My first assignment's result for Developmental Psychology was out! It was 36 out of 50!! I was a bit dissapointed because I expected to be in the 40s zone.

I believed the point was marked down, because there was one section I copied from internet sources. However, I did not copy blindly, I read it, digested, and then reword them. However, the college has installed a software that compare the essay's expression against all the sources in the internet!

Oh well, now I need to work harder for the 2nd assignment which I find even harder to write! I need to make sure I scored 80% above for the total grading. This is important for my entry into Master degree of Social Science.

Friend to everyone makes you happier?

I like to ponder upon this subject above. I wonder if it's still true .. a friend to everyone makes one happier? I think I have some reservation these days when it come to this subject. For example, recently, my uncle a retiree usually stay home and try to makes friend in the neighborhood. He will be more than happy to talk to them and hopefully they can be helpful to each other.

However, last Saturday, while we were having breakfast, a decent looking mid 30s guy came over to our table. He started talking to my uncle, which we believe he is one of those friend he make in our neighborhood. However, the funny thing was, my uncle did not pay much attention to him, in fact was kinda ignoring him. I felt funny, because it seems to be very strange. As the guy was nagging like how r u today, what you do today, then the conversation has a 360' degree changes. The guy asked, "Can you buy me a Wantan Mee today!".

I was taken aback, and cut the story short, my uncle did not abide to his request. Later my uncle told me, it seems he is one of those mentally unstable guy. Though he looked friendly, chatty, but he demands for money and food!!

Gosh, right away, I won't sure if what he is doing is good. Making friends to strangers!!! I guess if the stranger that you make friend, knows how to give and take, that's fine. If the so call friend only takes all the time?!! I think you need to reconsider. He is not a friend, he is a parasite! For this case, a mentally unstable parasite!! Run for your life!!!

The food finally got me!!

This was my countless time to India, and I am usually extremely very careful with the food I ate. Last friday, when I was about to board the plane at the gate, I started to feel nausea and unwell. I went to the bathroom right away, within seconds, I threw out all the food I ate since lunch. Followed by severe diarrhea!! Damn, the plane is going to take off soon. I ran to the gate, and told the MAS staff I really could not board. They weren't too happy because they need to reverse every process, basically from my luggage, to my immigration stamp, and paperwork for the airport security that I need to get back into India. While I was constantly running back and forth to the bathroom, the whole process took 2 hours.

After all paperwork was done, I was abandoned at departure hall, my knee was weak, my eye halve opened and I struggled my way to arrival hall for local taxi. I was desperate to check into a hotel and rest. I made it into the hotel, and I started popping lomotils to stop the effect. It was 1 am, however, 3am it's still not stopping, then followed by every 10-20minutest until 5am. I knew I am going to collapse anytime soon. I rang up my colleague and told him I have to be admitted into hospital.

My colleague came over checked me in and by then I was totally exhausted and dehydrated. I can barely keep my eye opened. My mind was tired and I could hardly hold a pen. Right away I was put on drips and moved into a room. Then more antibiotics injected and finally it was stabilised. Next morning the doctor visited me and asked me a set of questions trying to find out the cause. I suspected I took a sandwich during lunch at Costa (like Starbuck chain). The doctor told me usually during summer, the bacteria infections on the food are more because the food may not be kept at the right temperature.

To cut the story short, it was a total nightmare. It was such a disaster. Today I will be discharged and will fly out tonite back to KL! I guess I wont eat until I am home!!!