When the trust is breached ...

When a trust is breached would we ever forgive over what has happened? I guess it will takes time through proving oneself of their worth. If one attempted to prove then he other party may need to view the action in a positive lights rather than judging based on emotions. What make it worse was rumor mongers tried very hard to use scare tactic to derail the trust building process. I guess for me I tend to go against the rumor mongers. The question is why are they reacting this way? What are they protecting? I may never know but I can choose to ignore.

What is successful children?

I had been talking to a few friends and colleagues, and everyone seems to have a common concern. How do you raise a successful child? I guess everyone has their own way depending on the parents' make up. However, I managed to talk to a successful entrepreneur in India. She is the only female businesswomen in the top 100 businessmen in India. Her opinion about raising successful kids are making sure they are good citizen and has a social responsibility. Also, whether the parents are rich or poor, but equipped with the right social and honest attitude, she believes the kids will survive. She doesn't believe we all should just look after ourselves. She believes in giving. I guess everyone has their own interpretation. What's yours?

I am back with a new chapter

In 2 more weeks I am officially unemployed. However, I made a choice to go back to college and to pursue my Counseling career. I will be back here and write more of the new chapter of my life.

Pocket Diet

I am halfway through my December holidays. While in UK I didnt do much sightseeing but rather takes things slowly and walk around the familiar streets. It was kind of fun to discover changes in the city and able to relate them from the past. Also, this Christmas shopping I thought I was not aggressive compared to the previous years. But online shoppings are addictive! Even before arriving into London, I have my goods delivered to an UK address well advance. My purchases for this year: A casual messenger leather bag A canvas carry all bag A canvas tote bag for working A leather card wallet A blazer A key wallet I noticed this year I was stuffing myself with bags. All in all it was a whopping amount by just clicking and clicking! Now I have to go back to pocket diet. No more bags no more online shopping! No more excuses I hope!

Mirror

I was listening intently to a person telling me his issues and difficulties surrounding his families' members. I heard dissatisfaction, unjustified actions, ill intention of others and non confirmed assumptions of each action. Obviously the person was deeply angered to the core, but all this while due to social needs, the feelings were coated with a layer of smiling mask. The irony was before the story, I assumed the person was fair and generous. However once I heard the story there were so many layers of faces behind the person. I started to ask myself, has the person we described has been ourselves. I come to realized there are genuinely innocent victims who spilling out their mistreatment but there are also people who appeared calm but atvtheir back of their mind they have already calculated every incidents. What set this 2 apart appears to me the core naturevof the person, innocence versus a very active plotter who will plan the advantages or disadvantages accordingly through the mask the wear. All sometimes it may sound the person is innocence but deep inside them there maybe a great dissatisfaction that is just waiting to surface through making excuses that it was somebody's fault. Next time when I want to complaint, I will ask if I am innocence or a plotter to gain support.

Applying for 2nd jobs

Few weeks ago, I have written to my college and have asked the coordinator to help me to find a job.  Just yesterday, I got a reply and was asked to write to Hillsong organisation.  Basically, Hillsong runs a church services, but they also have medical center which focus on mental health.

I have submitted my application today, however, I noticed there may be some obstacles in either getting or doing the job.  First, the potential mentor only works weekdays during office hour. With my current job, it's impossible for me to do 1 or 2 day voluntarily work during this time.  On top of that, the professional counselor does not work on weekends.  The most, I can work after hours meaning from 5pm onwards for few hours with certain client.  I was expected to perform the 1 on 1 with the client and keep a diary of my client.

I only foresee challenges as I knew my current corporate role is very demanding of my time. I am expected to answer anytime when they need me even after hour.  Though I can reject, but it's just simply expected out from you.  Now, how can I balance the jobs not even considering my life.

One way out is to check my bank balance and check if I could survive without the corporate job for a year.  Focus on my study and voluntarily work, then only I will decide if I still want to go back to the corporate world.  It is a very tough decision but it all depends on how much and how long I could survives on my own.

A tribute to a pair of loyal parents

Lately I have been quite divided on the action taken by the parents upon their children.  Their roles and responsibilities have put so much restrictions to their very own lives. I decided to write a tribute to a pair of parent whom i known quite well.

Mr. and Mrs. S were formerly from Shanghai.  In Shanghai, Mr S is a very active opera singer and was sought after in most of the events.  While Mrs. S was a doctor and specialized at lungs area in China.  Both of them are successful and, met and married in Shanghai.  After their first son was born in the 70s, the couple would like a better life for their son. Hence with Mrs S accreditation, the family moved to Hong Kong. This would provide their son a better future in terms of education and living.  However, Mr S ended up working as a factory worker, while the wife managed to find a job as a clerk in an export/import business.  Over many years, the couple worked really hard, and later they have another baby daughter. 

Overall, their living was just below average, they worked very hard to save money for their children.  20 years later, the son managed to find a decent job in a airline company, while the daughter grew up closer to the mother, as the father was mostly out at a factory.  Mrs S was promoted as a manager and was the breadwinner for the family.  The family I assumed was happy, however, there were a lot of challenges especially living in Hong Kong, where properties are scarce and very expensive.  When I first met the family they appeared to be very humble but they appeared to be happy.  The parents hard work seems to pay off, however, they were in their 50s at that time.  Eventually, Mr S has to retire, while only Mrs S and her son is working to support the family.  The son got married and has 2 sons, however, he did not spend much time with his father, instead he was too busy chasing dreams.  If the elder couple was lucky they may see their son's family few times a year although they live in the same island.

Few years ago, Mrs. S died of cancer, and she being a doctor she knew her own fate.  Before she went away, she wrote notes and placed them strategically at every place so that Mr. S will not forget where and what to do after her passing.  Mr. S was left alone with his non communicative daughter at home.  While the daughter who spent most of her communication with her mom, she found there was nothing much in common with the stranger at home - her father.

I am very touched with Mr and Mrs dedication.  They could have their own golden dreams during their heyday, but they choose for their children.  They practically became a labour in order to raise the family in an expensive Hong Kong island.  In the end, their children, grown apart from them, just because the children has their own dreams.  I do not think the elderly couple expecting a lot from their children, however, it was kinda sad to see Mr. S is pretty much alone by himself.

I am grateful I met Mr and Mrs S.  Their dedication and sacrifices they have made.  I just wish one day Mr S deserves more from this lives.

Addictions

In this day and age, addictions are becoming part of our lives.  Addictions to drugs, steal, sex, chatting, games, and power have been overtaking our sane mind.

Few months back, while I was shopping at a mall in Sydney, I saw a lady dressed decently walking out from a hair care shop.  Few minutes later, 2 shopkeepers ran to her and block her from walking further.  I can't hear exactly what was the reason, however the lady tried to walk further but this time the 2 men was grabbing her arms.  Minutes later, a shopping mall lady guard holding the walkie talkie and appeared in front of them.  This time, the lady security guard asked the lady shopper to open up her bags.  Later they found she has took unpaid products from a shop.  She appeared to have been stealing.

The lady shopper dropped her bag and wanting to walk past the people who apprehended her.  This time, her face turn red and she was about to burst to tears.  In the end, the 2 men dragged her practically, while her legs was dragging on the floor begging to be released.

At that point I wonder why would she do it.  I suspect sometimes people are addicted to do what they knows are wrong.  Once they tried it they may thought they are invincible.  However, these addictions may not be cut off if they have not realized the harm they had done to themselves or others.  For now, I could only hope the lady would come to a realization, and able to break from this addiction.

Aging is ...

In my opinion aging is a "process of stripping our pride". 

Since we were young we were full of confidence and prideful.  We must always win or be right.  However, as we aged, we found slowly we are being stripped from these feelings.  Eventually, when we could not support ourselves, humiliation filled up our feelings.

I have been telling myself, probably it's good to have some humility at lives now.  To prepare myself to accept humiliation in the later part of my life.

Anger and regrets

My manager which I often has conflict with is moving to another role in next 2 days.  Many people which I shared my anger with asked if I would be happier.  To be honest, I am not sure if I would.  This conflict is only one of the challenges which I have in my current job.  However, when I look back, should I stop complaining about her now?  I think I should.

I often asked myself in the past, when can I stop talking about the conflicts I had with her.  Though I did not have the intention to hurt the manager, but by sharing with others, it's an act of non intentional damage.  I may not know what rumors other may create and indirectly hurt the person.  I never thought of this when I am in an angry mode.  I would like to try to make sense what I did was right or wrong, which trigger such treatment in the first place.  When I failed to find the logic which fits with my principle, I vent my anger and validate my own feelings.

Last week, I started to read about the principle of karma.  I put some interest in these teachings because I noticed the similarities in the Counseling course which I took.  In the teaching, it mentioned, in order to gain good deeds, you need to stop or limit doing the bad things.  These bad things could be intentional or unintentional actions.  In the past, I could not find a good reason to stop talking about her.  But now I do.  I believe in good deeds and stop causing too much ripple in other people's life.

These days, instead of harping on the things which had happened, I will shrugged off by saying, my former boss has a different way of managing the business.  Different people has different style, but I may not necessary click with that style.  I learned and I want to move on.

The tale of the 3 Bangkok tailors

During my trip to Bangkok, I have decided to make a few shirts. However, it's not the shirt which I can buy from a ready-to-wear shop. It's a shirt which I bought at Shanghai Tang few years ago, and I like it very much. It was the right size, right mandarin collar, and the right fitting. So I thought instead of paying a premium price, why not send it to a shop to copy it! After a few search in the internet and consulted the hotel concierge, I have narrowed down to 3 tailors which I will try. The story of the 3 tailors and the outcome are documented in the tales below.

Charlie's Design

It was the Westin hotel's concierge who recommendation. I have asked for a tailor that's reasonable and not hi-so (Thai expression for expensive)! Charlie's is tucked in Soi 16 of Sukhumvit Road, and it's situated very near to the famous ASOKE exchange. The Asok BTS and Sukhumvit Subway station intersected at this junction. Charlie's is run by a Indian family. I was greeted by Roger, a soft spoken Indian man who lives in Bangkok almost his entire life. I told him exactly what's my budget and showed him the design I want. He pointed to me the range of fabrics they kept in the shop, and of course it came with various prices and quality. The starting price was around 1000 baht for ok quality, medium quality range from 1200 to 1400 baht. The more expensive one are 1400 baht and above. I noticed, the collections of the fabric was not a lot especially when I was looking for medium priced plain color fabrics. They have more stripes fabric in many sizes. In the end I managed to get something I like and I was told I could collect the next day if I do not need any fitting but just copy the exact shirt I brought with me. The outcome was not bad. I was happy with the ok stitching, however, I was not too please with the material. I found it was soft to touch but when I wore it I felt a bit harsh. So make sure you place the fabric on your body or arms, to feel the material itself. For quick fix and no fuss tailoring, I think Charlie's did a good job.

Website : http://www.facebook.com/pages/Charlies-Design-Fashion-House-Bangkok/100565453367694 Address : 25/3 Sukhumvit Soi 16, Opposite Foodland, Bangkok, Thailand

Nickermann's

Next stop I went over to Nickermann's which is located at Landmark building not far from Nana BTS station. The shop is located at the lower ground of the lower building. I read in the internet, there were many happy return customers. However, sometimes you never know who posted those comments, so why not try out myself instead of relying on someone else? I walked around the fabrics area and dotting my eye on the collections they have. It wasn't a big collections but they have what I need. Plain and colored fabrics without any fuss on patterns or stripes. A lady which I suspected non Thai, but from India approached me and asked me what's my budget like. I told them around 1000 baht. They showed me all the fabrics which cost at 1200 baht. I touched it and I found the material was smoother and thicker compare to Charlie's. Immediately I found what I need. I ordered 2 shirts from themI , however, I need a special buttons. For additional request on buttons, I need to pay 200baht more plus there is a chance they won't able to find it. Then I went on with the design and they claimed they have done it, however, again, they do not have the button I needed. They only stock simple buttons, no fuss as well. They told me next time, I can bring my own button to replace them. Anyway, the next day the shirt was done and I checked on the stitches. It was not bad on the stitches, but the cut at Charlie's are better especially on my collar. Overall, it was a non noticeable cut. I am still happy with the outcome. In addition, the shop keep your record, if you need to order from overseas. All you need to do is to quote your record number and they will deliver to you.

Website : http://nickermanns.net
Address : 138 Sukhumvit Road, Landmark Hotel, Bangkok, Thailand.

Narin Couture

I learnt about Nari couture from the CNN Go website. It was listed as one of the respectable tailor in town. In another word, it's going to be 'hi-so'. I told myself, why not if the quality is impeccable? I also learnt the tailor came from a highly respected design school in London. I thought ok I shall surprise myself at Narin and I walked into the shop on a busy weekend. The shop was classy looking with a big collection of fabrics. Also, I noticed this is the only Thai-Chinese tailor that I have encountered. The other was mainly Thai-Indian tailors. He spoke in good English and I was told a minimum order of 3 shirts per order. Each shirt will cost at 2250 bath each. This is almost double the price at the earlier 2 shops. However, if it's good, why not!!?? I walked around the shop and I also noticed they have their very own tailors making the shirt. It appeared that the tailor can monitor these people's end products or while making them. I told myself, quality assurance must be very important at Narin. When I was ready to make my order, I was told it will take one week to make them. Nothing more nothing less! This was because they have too many orders and they could not fit the date I want. However, if I like, they can ship to me directly to my home address after making them. To my disapointment, I did not make any this trip. Although the tailor speaking with some 'air' in the tone, but I do believe he is very professional. He is the only tailor I noticed that dressed neatly like a businessman when dealing with his customers. Oh well, next time I will try again.

Website : http://www.narin-couture.com/home.html
Address : 180 Sukhumvit road, Klongtoey, Bangkok (next to Bangkok Bank and near Nana station)

Well done Datuk Lee Chong Wei

Thank you Datuk Lee, although we did not win a gold, however, thank you for the spirit to win! The games was very exciting and you have given your best! Malaysia Boleh!

Good deed and business

I went for a quick lunch today at my favorite food court. However instead of buying from my usual Korean/Japanese shop which sells sushi and teriyaki don, I went and tried another Japanese fast food stalls which served Tempura don. After buying my tempura don, I walked passed the quiet Korean/Japanese shop. The lady owner who usually doesn't smile, peeped at me (from the corner of my eye) then she walked back to the kitchen. After my meal, I thought probably I will buy a take away from my usual shop. I ordered seafood dumplings from her then I stood next to the display boxes of sushi and spring rolls near the cashier counter. After a few minutes while she was cooking, she walked towards me and asked me to sit down. I told her it's ok because I have been sitting down whole day. Then she said, but you are "blocking" my stalls! Then I walked further away from the shop. I was thinking to myself, first of all, there was nobody buying from her, and this order was really unnecessary for me. I did it out of good deeds, and I wasn't entirely blocking the whole shop, I was basically standing near the counter. I told myself, probably we shouldn't be executing good deeds when unnecessary. At the end of the day business is more important. I love money!

To forgive or not to forgive

Few weeks ago,I read in a local newspaper where an elderly man was selling some charity souvenirs near a tourist attractions. Later the newspaper took his picture and exposed him as the formerly child pedophile. He has served his jail time when he was younger. However, the way the newspaper painted him was like he is still a dangerous man, and how can he be selling souvenirs for charity company. The writer demand such people need to be verified before another saga is being made. I was reading and at the same time shaking my head in disbelief. Is this how unforgivable a human can be. So what do you want him to do instead? He has paid what he had done in the past, now he's trying to make a living. Are we assuming he will attack again? He is doing business on a broad daylight street, not on a quiet alley. What the possibilities it will go wrong? Even if kids wants to buy something from him, the possibility an adult will accompany them and pay for the item. In my opinion I just feel it's unfair. I think the way it was written was to determine he's not be seen anywhere and hopefully he will disappear silently. Out of sight out of mind, but in reality, it's does not work that way!

Vietnam, go, going, gone

I am back to Hanoi and Saigon this month. I still remembered when I first landed in Vietnam, I felt like I am back to my childhood place, where things are still laid back and friendly faces everywhere. Also, there are so many buildings and old districts with old architecture that make both Hanoi and Saigon different. However, since the last few years, things became to change. First, I noticed more food and souvenir stuffs getting more expensive. Young people are very fashionable now, although it's not as same par with developed countries yet. Properties prices skyrocketing, and Rolls Royce are rolling on the crawling street. I guess, it's a good sign where prosperity is flowing into the country. However, like everywhere else, there is a price. The inflation is getting higher here. New buildings are replacing the older ones, and the traffic has turned from bad to worse. Half of me, think it was a positive thing that could happened to Vietnam. Progressing and competing in the economy arena. Half of me, feeling bad that the modernization will snatch things which we may not recover later. While changes are inevitable, I will not let these stop me from savoring the goodness of Vietnam. Friendly faces and kind people. I just wish the country or even my own country will retain their culture and weed out people of extreme greed which may turn the country with a large poverty gap.

May you have peace

A colleague from jakarta messages me. Pak A has passesd away. He lost his battle to the nose cancer. I feel gutted and at the same time wonder would he be alright afterlife. For all I know we won't cross path again in this life but if life is a cycle, then I hope we will meet again. Previous posting on Pak A : http://rantingkiasuching.blogspot.com/2012/05/message-from-friend-with-cancer.html

Food for thought ...

The quote is from the actor Will Smith, and I found it so true :) Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

How to avoid snatch thieves ... Kiasu style!

I overheard in a Chinese program over the radio. The radio deejay was suggesting ways to overcome snatch thieves in Kuala Lumpur. The DJ said these days some ladies may not even carry anymore expensive handbags. Instead they trade with a "Bee Hiang" or "Wo Lai Yeh" plastic bags for grilled pork. It took me a while to figure out why must specifically these bags?! Then I realized because these bags are "tak halal". So the chances of people to snatch your bag may be lowered.

Modern Family .. you touch me you pay

Few days ago, I read a news in Australia paper where a grandmother was sued. Long story short, the grandmother woke up to a crying baby, and try to take her to downstairs. Worry she may woke up her son and daughter in law, she walked and slipped on the steps. The baby was badly hurt from the incident. The son and the daughter in law sued the granny for negligence and it became a first landmark case. The nanny will be punished by the law. I was so amazed with the story. No doubt the baby was hurt, but was it intentionally? Is this how you repay your mother because she fell? Instead she was blamed for not taking good care of the baby. I mean what has the world become? If I am the granny I won't even want to touch a single hair of my grandchildren. I worried I may get sued. What this incident shown me is the court can come to a conclusion where trust is no longer working. So don't touch me or else I will sue you even you are related to me!

French film festival, salut!

Just few days ago, France was nominated as world rudest city. However starting from 25 may to June 6 in GSC cinema in kuala lumpur, the French movie festival just kicked off. So far I saw "A cat in paris" and "service entrance". Both were exquisite. "service entrance" especially has o much heart in it. It's very very funny but romantic as well. It really worth the money I paid. I am targeting 3 more movies, "love anonymous", "korkoro" and "untouchables". All these are highly acclaimed movies in 2011. I am so grateful I can watch them in the one week.